Sitting in a Mud Puddle!

Boys love to play in the mud. I stomped in my fair share of mud puddles as a kid and have churned up some mud in Jeeps & ATVs as an adult. Guys like to get in the mud and slosh it around. Mud is an an obstacle, a challenge, an adventure… fun!

But, I now have another view of mud puddles. At a Weekend to Remember Conference last month, Stacy and I leaned a new concept that is helping us communicate. If you’re at all observant around women, you’ve recognized that sometimes they just need to talk about what’s going on in their lives with more descriptive emotion than most of us can handle. And being guys who like to save the day, solve problems and fix things, our natural tendency is to offer suggestions and solutions. Almost without exception, this is a bad idea.

So, what did we learn at the conference? A new concept called “mud-puddling”. The speaker, Bill Munz, said that when his wife is in one of those moods, she tells him that she needs for him to just sit in a mud puddle with her for a while. This is a high level code that means “just sit and listen attentively but don’t try to fix anything”. Most of us guys weren’t born with natural skill for just sitting in the mud puddle. Our natural inclination is to churn it up, but we can and must learn to bless our wives by just sitting in the puddle with her.

I will tell you that women are much better at this than most of us, so… there are times (like last week at our house) when it’s wise to suggest that your wife go out and “mud-puddle” with some other ladies. If you spend some fun time with the kids and encourage her to meet with her girlfriends for some “mud-puddling”, you can be her hero! So guys here’s the deal…

1.   Practice the un-natural art of “mud puddling” with your wife.
2.  Recognize those surprise times when she just starts talking and go into “mud puddle mode”. Listen attentively but don’t offer solutions.
3.  Recognize when you’re in over your head and encourage her to go for an intense “mud puddling session” with some girlfriends.

Remember guys, Peter told us to “live with your wife in an understanding way” You may never fully understand but there can be much joy on the journey. Read on…

Noble Notes posted on July 21, 2010

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