“The issue of manhood is not going away – it unites us.” 

Brian Gullins has a passion for fatherhood that has been constantly on display throughout his life and career as an educator, youth director, pastor, and program coordinator in both the public and private sectors. And thankfully for us, he’s been a workshop presenter at our The Noble Man / ISI Conferences and joins us this week on the podcast to continue our series on What Are Men Looking For? A true visionary, he challenges us to define manhood, live it out, and think multi-generationally regarding our faith and families. 

You don’t want to miss the extensive gamut of wisdom he shares on these issues and more! 

Why is it challenging to define manhood? 

“Confusion is abundant.” 

Do guys today know what manhood looks like? There are two extremes: 

  1. Manhood has become feminized. 
  1. Hyper pseudo-masculism – men become unnecessarily violent. 

Neither is biblical manhood, but without true guidance, people lean into one of those directions. 

The Difference Between Love and Lust 

“That is what has to be taught, modeled, discussed; it’s that true biblical manhood is rooted in love.” 

Love gives; lust takes.  

Lust is not just sexual; it is a self-serving desire. Teach your son that difference, and teach your daughter when lust is being cloaked as love. By a consistent example of fatherly love, both son and daughter will be able to discern the difference between the real love of Christ and the counterfeit. 

The Church and Manhood 

Where could the father of your children go to get better advice on being a dad? We don’t have enough churches ready to respond to that question. 

“A lot of churches have what is a salvation model of ministry rather than a transformation model of ministry.” It all begins with salvation, but our job doesn’t end there. When a man is transformed, so is his whole family. 

Legacy 

“We need to have a multigenerational vision of what goes on in our family because the seed that we plant now and the prayers that we pray affect not only them but the next generation and set the stage for generations to come.”  

3 Things to Lay Before the Lord: 

  1. I would love and serve Him, and He would make me more Christlike. 
  1. Love my wife like Christ loves the church. 
  1. Leave a spiritual, natural, and financial inheritance for my children’s children.  

Manhood as a Bridge to Evangelism and Unity 

Manhood/fatherhood is a brotherhood that transcends economic, cultural, racial, and geographic boundaries. Commonness there creates an evangelistic opportunity. 

It creates an opportunity to bring healing to our nation as we connect with men. 

Generational Discipleship 

You may think your mistakes in life disqualify you, but you still have value. Please don’t rob others of your stories, victories, and challenges. 

The family is built on wisdom and strength. That indicates two generations: the younger who have strength, the older who have wisdom. When they come together it is a very powerful thing. Why am I still here? Could it be that God is not done with you yet? 

What about a single mom or grandma looking to find godly examples? 

When the matriarchs recognize that we need patriarchs, it gives the Lord permission to begin to move within that family. It may take a generation to get it done. 

  1. Pray for it. 
  1. Teach it. 
  1. Find other models. Start with a local church that values men and will hold them accountable in a way that causes them to rise. 

Key Verses:

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” 

Romans 10:9-10 Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.” 

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